Should Insults be Insulting to an Average Catholic?

It is an important self-reflection; what is insulting about insults? Of course, all humans are made in the image and likeness of God. Of course, insults should not be an everyday occurrence and is not acceptable in polite society. Of course, there are better ways to convey your point or express your anger without insults. And most importantly, of course, we all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect regardless of rank or station in life. Now, what should our reaction to insults be?

In my perspective, insults are either one of two things. Either an insult is true or an insult is false. If an insult is true, then the insult serves as a imprudent fraternal correction or a untactful descriptions of who we are. If an insult is false, then the content of the insult is irrelevant to you. Either way an insult should not inspire anger within us. I say this as a hypocrite, because insults get me riled up as well. There is a sense of injustice of being insulted that must be corrected, but is that the best Catholic response? Anger?

The bible have some examples of insults and how to react. King David almost relished insults in 2 Samuel 16. David said, “Leave him alone; let him curse, for the LORD has told him to. It may be that the LORD will see my distress and repay me with good for the cursing I am receiving today.” We have the vivid account of Jesus being slapped in John 18:23. Jesus responds with an almost neutral but inquisitive, “If what I said is wrong, bear witness about the wrong; but if what I said is right, why do you strike me?” Along with his teaching during the sermon on the mount (Matthew 5:39) of turn the other cheek. We also have Saint Paul in Romans 12:19, “ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath.”

It is beneficial to think on the times when insults had no effect on ourselves. For example, when we almost delight in the suffering of our enemy after we provoked an insult. It is almost an achievement that we are proud of (very not Christian by the way.) There is also when a complete stranger out of the blue just gives out insults. It almost doesn’t register and it is difficult to take it personally, because how could the insult possibly be referred to you? There is another case when an inferior insults you as a consequence of you performing your duty. They may insult you but you are actually performing a good. There is a callousness when that the job needs to get done with or without the inferior’s consent.

If I had to guess, our anger towards insults is in response to our attachment of being treated well. The anger we feel is close to a righteous anger of someone who failed to give us the dignity and respect we perceive is deserved. The question is how can we eliminate that attachment in order to avoid undue anger?

The attachment becomes fragile if you are able to trust in God’s providence. That the insult is almost a gift to inspire humility, patience, or contrition. That is how King David handled the insult. The attachment becomes fragile if you value the good of the one giving the insult. That someone who is willing to give out insults must have a wound of their own. This is how Jesus handled being slapped. The attachment becomes fragile if you humbly defer to God and act as a docile servant. Why would we get angry when our Father in heavenly is the true Judge of Justice and Mercy. This is the advice of “Leaving room for the wrath of God.”

For most anger related struggles, a growth of patience is needed. There is not a dispute of if the insult should be punished. Or if insults deserve punishment. The difference of opinion between us and God is about when should the punishment occur and to what degree. Sometimes we feel like the person who insults us will get off Scott free. Therefore, we must take matters into our own hands. That’s how we get most of our road rage and impassioned violent encounters. However, if we trust God to handle the matter to the degree that it needs to be handled. Then, what purpose does our anger serve? Only destruction and sin.

If we are insulted, then the Average Catholic shouldn’t seek vengeance. Instead, we should have one of three responses. First, we should have compassion that someone’s will is turning towards wishing harm on another instead of willing the good for the other. Second, we should take a moment be grateful of the reminder that we are dust and to dust we shall return. Third, we should examine if we do need to change our ways for the better. Perhaps, an insult may very well be the catalyst to a deeper conversion to God. For that, thank you for the insult.